Do you really have to do that thing you don't want to do?

There are so many times in our lives when we feel forced or obliged to do something.

• I have to go to work
• I have to go to bed early
• I have to do the dishes
• I have to stop watching tv
• I have to finish that project

But what if you don’t have to do any of these things if you don’t want to?

Do you really have to?

You technically don’t have to do anything (other than breathe, eat, drink water, get some form of sleep and a few other essentials to continue existing). But for everything else in your life, you can ask the question: Do I have to?

Saying ‘I have to’ implies that you don’t have any control over the matter. That someone or something else is dictating what you do.

• Do you have to go to work? You could just not work, call in sick, quit your job…
• Do you have to go to bed early? You could go to bed late or not get any sleep at all.
• Do you have to do the dishes? You could just leave them sitting there, you could ask someone else to do them, you could pay someone to come in and just do your dishes.

These are all choices. And yes all of these choices have consequences, but it's ultimately your decision whether you face these consequences.

Choices do have consequences

• Quitting your job means you lose your income
• Going to bed late means you have less energy the next day
• Not doing the dishes means that your dishes start stacking up around the house.

Once you remember how much control you have over what you do, and take back responsibility for your choices, then you gain back the power. It is no longer an external force making you do things.

• I choose to go to work because I don’t want to let my team down and because I have bills that I want to pay.
• I choose to go to bed early because I want to be full of energy, and because I want to give myself the best start to the day possible because I know how important sleep is in impacting my mood.
• I choose to do the dishes because I value a clean home and because I know how stressed I feel when my bench is covered in dishes.

Understanding that these are choices and the reasons why you choose to do these things is key to taking back control of your life and becoming more present and intentional with what you choose to do.

Remember if you hear yourself saying I should or I have to. Ask yourself these questions: Why should you? Do you have to? If not, then don't. If you do, why do you want to? What negative consequences are you trying to avoid or what benefits will you gain? the decision is yours!

Click here to read the full article on how to do exactly what you want by removing I should, I have to, and I need to from your vocabulary.