How to avoid your default settings and take back control
Although autopilot can be helpful, living the majority of our lives in autopilot can lead to the formation of bad habits, experiencing a lack of control over what happens in our lives, and feeling as though time is passing by far too quickly.
Autopilot is a natural state that our mind falls into once it has done an activity enough times that it doesn't need to actively think about it. For example, think back to the last 5 times you did the dishes or the last 10 times you drove to the supermarket. These types of activities don't often stand out as individual memories as we are usually doing them on autopilot, and that's okay. Autopilot can be a super helpful tool to get us through life without depleting all of our energy. Can you imagine having to use the same amount of energy you used the first time you drove a car... every time you have had to drive one since! Autopilot is the byproduct of learning and mastering certain skills and actions.
- The downside of autopilot
- How to turn off autopilot
- Questions you can ask to avoid your default settings
1. The downside of autopilot
Although autopilot can be helpful, living the majority of our lives on autopilot can lead to the formation of bad habits, experiencing a lack of control over what happens in our lives, and feeling as though time is passing by far too quickly.
"I don't know where today went."
"This week has just flown!"
"I can't believe it's almost Christmas..."
Do these phrases sound familiar? It's not only our skills and actions that autopilot controls. It is also our thinking patterns and emotional reactions. You may notice yourself responding to the same situations in the same way, or maybe your mind wanders down the same thought patterns again and again. Our mind has created default settings and the more our brain experiences the same thoughts, feelings and behaviours in response to certain situations, the more ingrained these default settings become.
2. How to turn off autopilot
Turning off autopilot and taking back control means that you can make conscious decisions and be more intentional about how you spend your time, rather than autopilot picking the default settings. Sometimes it can feel like more effort to respond to certain situations intentionally. I know that when I sit down at my desk and open up my thesis document, my autopilot immediately gets me up to go look for a snack. That is the default setting that it has learned. It takes more effort for me to not get up and get a snack because I have to override the autopilot and take control. No wonder more often than not I find myself at the kitchen cupboard looking for a snack! It's the default (and therefore the easier) option.
We may understand the importance of turning off autopilot, but it's difficult to know exactly how to do that. I'm happy to share that I recently discovered a trick that has made becoming present and taking back control, a whole lot easier!
Question everything!
Asking yourself questions forces your conscious mind to take over as it's difficult to truly answer questions on autopilot. Be sure to ask questions in a curious and non-judgemental way as self-compassion is the foundation for self-improvement.
3. Questions you can ask to avoid your default settings
- What am I trying to avoid right now?
- Why am I going to the fridge right now? Am I hungry or is it something else?
- Why am I frustrated about this?
- Am I actually that tired or am I feeling a different emotion?
- How could I make this task more enjoyable?
- Do I have to do this right now?
It's okay if the answers to these questions are as you suspected.
- Maybe, you are that tired.
- Maybe, you do need to do that right now.
- Maybe, you are hungry.
But asking these questions is what allows you to reflect and make a conscious decision in the moment, rather than continuing on autopilot and having your decisions made for you. You may find that you're frustrated for a different reason than you initially thought, or maybe you're not tired but you're actually thirsty and it's dehydration making you feel that way. There are lots of underlying reasons for our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and the only way we can make conscious decisions about them is by asking ourselves the right questions.
So throughout your day, if you find that time is slipping by too quickly, remember to ask yourself more questions. The questions can be about the most mundane things! As long as you are taking back control every once in a while to make intentional decisions and to be present in the moment, that is what matters.