How your reality is what you tell yourself

There are of course many external factors that impact our lives, but the thing that makes the biggest difference is actually our inner dialogue. What we tell ourselves about our world, becomes our world.

How many times have you told yourself that you hate your job, that you’re too busy to do anything fun, that you’re not good in social situations, that you are unfit, that you aren’t good at presentations, that you're bad with money, that you will never live out your dreams….

The funny thing about our subconscious and conscious thoughts, is that they act as self-fulfilling prophecies. Thinking negatively will fuel the negative feelings and only create more negativity.

The more you tell yourself that you hate your job, the more you’re going to see the negatives and less of the positives.

The more you tell yourself you're bad at public speaking, the more nervous you will be before stepping out in front of an audience.

The more you tell yourself you're unfit, the harder the workouts will feel and the less likely you'll be to make time for exercise.

Knowing the impact of your thoughts on your experience, a step that you can take to counteract this is to start creating a different internal dialogue. Start telling yourself how your reality will be exactly what you want it to be.

But it's not like you can just tell yourself that you love working with that colleague that has made your work life a living hell… The important thing is to avoid toxic positivity, but to ensure positivity has a seat at the table. If you only ever let your negative thoughts steer the narrative, then it will feel like negativity follows you everywhere you go. There needs to be a balance and its important that positivity gets its share of the limelight.

What you can do is start to find the positive things in your situation and to amplifying those parts in your mind.

Write down the things that you do like about your job and remind yourself of these when it's a particularly busy time.

Find evidence of what makes you good at public speaking, or the best person to do this particular presentation.

Change the language you use around exercise and determine how you can include movement in your day can be a positive addition to your life.

It's important to acknowledge our negative emotions, accept that these feelings are valid, and reduce resistance towards these feelings. While at the same time, trying to fuel the positive thoughts by giving them the power. As you do this you can start to change the narrative around the areas in your life causing you the most trouble. Remind yourself that your mind is telling you how much of an impact these external things have on you.