The difference between suppressing and letting go

I have been finding it difficult to find the balance between getting to the root cause of an issue and overanalysing the issue. At the same time, I also struggle to find a balance between letting things go and listening to my needs.

But there is a difference between letting thoughts and feelings go and suppressing them...

In the past, when I have had intrusive negative thoughts, anxious thought loops, or overwhelming emotions, my instinct is to push these aside, avoid them, cover them up, and resist them as much as possible.

The problem is that suppression and resistance actually create more pressure and end up exacerbating whatever it is that is causing the anxiety.

But when I realise this in the moment, my next instinct is to start analysing every inch of my thoughts and emotions trying to ‘fix’ the thinking or ‘fix’ the emotions. If I just keep thinking and analysing, surely I will eventually solve the problem and come to some kind of solution.

It turns out the solution is not in further thinking. The solution is in ceasing the thinking, accepting the thoughts as they are, and then letting them go. Not identifying with the thoughts further, not engaging with them longer than when they first appear. Being okay with letting them go, and not choosing to cling to them.

There is a part of us that actually wants to feel pain. It wants to cling to the negative feelings and create a self-fulfilling prophecy that the world is in fact a horrible place and that all your fears are valid. It’s important to also acknowledge this part of us that wants to keep us in despair and try to let that go too.

If you're struggling to tell the difference between whether you are suppressing something or letting it go, suppressing thoughts or feelings makes it feel like you are holding your breath, and letting go feels like you can finally breathe again.

Letting go isn’t easy. It's something you need to continually practice, just like anything else. But the more you practice letting things go, the easier it will become.