When you accept yourself just as you are... then you can change

When you have a part of your life or part of yourself that you are resisting, that you are in denial about, that you judge, or that you think shouldn’t be there... you may be stopping yourself from moving forward.

Acceptance isn’t happiness or positivity. Acceptance is just acknowledging what is, without resisting it or judging it, and then moving forward to the next best step.

I have had some bad mental health days recently and on those days my mood affects my work pretty significantly. In the past, I have berated myself for this. I have told myself that I am a bad educator, a bad person, that I shouldn’t be feeling or acting this way. I have questioned why I have these bad days and why I can’t just snap out of it or pull myself together. I have tried analysing the experience and problem-solving my way out of it, which often leads me spiralling down further as nothing I do seems to make it better. Instead, over-analysing and focusing on the problem only makes it worse. I start getting frustrated that I am frustrated and sad that I am sad... and the spiral continues to go down.

What I have recently come to realise is that when I accept these days as they are, when I say to myself “This is just not my day... I am going to do what I can to get through this day and know that tomorrow or the next day or the next, will be better” and so far, that has always been true! There have always been better days around the corner. In the past when I let myself spiral down it might have been a lot longer before I experienced another good day, but it always happened. If I refrain from leaning into the negative feelings, and just accept that they are there, I’m no longer giving them the space to grow into something more.

There are always going to be bad days, but removing the judgement and replacing it with acceptance doesn’t give the bad day the same impact that it once had.

Acceptance and then action.

Once you have accepted your current experience as it is, you can start taking little steps in the right direction to start that spiral back up again. The most important thing to remember is to take these actions without expectations.

Sitting outside in the sun, journaling, going for a walk in nature, listening to your favourite song, seeing a friend... these things are probably not going to miraculously change your mental state. But they might be a step in the right direction. The more steps you can take in the right direction, the faster you will get to your desired destination.